Wednesday, June 15, 2011


Have you ever felt somehow all of a sudden a light bulb come on and “BOING” you realize … I’ve been walking around totally unconscious about this situation or had a misconceived notion about that?  

You just know on a cellular level that this awakening can be life changing, liberating even… but… possible out of the fear of change you dismiss the thoughts… reject them as radical … then busy yourself… get preoccupied with the worries, trials and tribulations of your day to day existence… go unconscious and forget you ever had such enlightenment in the first place. I sure have! More than once.

But you can’t really forget about it, can you… it’s always there hiding in the back of your psyche like a dormant seed waiting until the time and circumstances are right to sprout and grow.  

A wise and sage spiritual teacher of mine likened the awakening process to ascending a spiral flight of stairs.

Actually it was my Cousin Rose who after a long conversation on the phone one day reminded me “awakening is like taking a step up a flight of stairs.”

Sometimes your energy is strong… your vision is clear… you leap up two, three maybe even four steps in one single burst of light… then at another time, mostly at a time of darkness, confusion, and uncertainty you’re not even aware you’re standing on a stairs case at all.   

It’s been my experience you can stay stuck … think it’s a landing place or you can even consciously choose to move back down a step or two she said.

It’s frightening to step away from all that is familiar… you may not want your problems but there is a certain amount of comfort in them… like a well wore pair of pajamies.

Well, enough of that!!! What in the world got into me?

 Somewhere in the Bible it says “In my Father’s house there are many mansions.”  

Now, before you read any further… it is not my intention to offend anyone on any level… hold on to your hat… I’m about to mention the “J” word… Jesus.

It’s amazing to me how fighting mad that name makes some people? And heaven forbid I should mention the Bible in the same breath? POW… the fight is on like Donkey Kong.

Several years back I saw Joseph Campbell on a PBS fund raiser I think I remember him saying something like… “You have to follow your own mythology.”  

Well, the whole Christian thing is part of my personal mythology. I was raised a Christian and learned the verses of the Bible as a child… but I’ll try not to speak in Christianese, I promise.

I take that statement of Jesus’ to mean in my Father’s house there are many levels of awareness… states of consciousness… different illusions or delusions… or personal myths… if you will.

I have had for want of a better word an Awakening. And I so excited I just had to tell someone. So I’m telling you.

Believe me it is not my-self-aggrandizing ego that’s talking… it was what it was and I have prayed for it to happen all my life.

I had hoped when it did happen I would become a Christian. After all I’ve gone down front at alter calls to give my life to Jesus at least a dozen times… in as many different denominations.

And on every occasion I sincerely meant it… I’d raised my hands toward heaven and genuinely pray the sinner’s prayer.

I’ve even spoken in tongues so enthusiastically if you’d seen me you might have thought I was a Spirit filled Pentecostal Preacher on crack.

But… on this particular day, a day no different than any other, while setting on a cement bench at Surfers Point, and staring at the ocean the veil of illusion parted for me and much to my surprise, (because I didn’t believe in Angels)… the sky turned to rays of multi-colored vibrating light more brilliant than the sun… and a multitude of Angels and disembodied soles were singing holy, holy, ho-o-lee.

A calm stillness washed over me. I joined my voice in harmony with theirs and was instantly transported into a state of bliss so ah inspiring my words cannot convey it … needless to say but I’ll say it anyway… this experience altered my DNA…

But darn it… when I returned to the work a day work of men and their machines… to my disappointment I had not become a Born Again Christian… far from it.
It didn’t make me believe that Jesus is the one and only son of God… that he had walked on water or turned water into wine for that matter.

And even though the experience left me a-tuned to the sound… it didn’t in anyway make me care one way or the other whether Mary, Jesus’ mother was a virgin or not at the time of his conception. And thank god it didn’t make me a Republican either.

I did and still believe with every fiber of my being that Jesus was an Awakened Man… a Healer…yes I believe that… a Spiritual Teacher… absolutely you bet I believe that… but still a man… a Hebrew man, a Jew … and like me not a Christian.

I’ll bet you any amount of money… if I mention that tiny little tidbit to anyone at my friends church they would probably think I’ve been sent there by the Enemy, the Evil One, the Devil to adversely influence its members. 

I’ll bet you too they’d all pray for me… you know they would and if I didn’t repent, forsake the darkness and accept Jesus Christ as the only son of God… and that he died on the cross for my sins I might even be asked to leave the church and not come back.

Darn it all anyway I like my friend’s church. The people seem genuine. I don’t even mind the songs they sing that much… and on Sunday the Minister usually delivers a good thought provoking message…. But…  

Can’t I just be a Devote’ of my Teacher of The Way whose name is Jesus and leave it at that?

“My Personal Myths are a Mixed Bag”

In all fairness to my Mother’s family I feel I should mention…  I was also taught to believe in the practice of Astrology, Numerology, The Torah, how to read rider back playing cards and this one is actually my favorite… the art of using my imagination to escape the physical body.

Something I said just reminded me of what my mother-in-law Janice told me after the whole blog fiasco, you remember Janice don’t you… anyway she said... you have too much time on my hands if you have time to write that blog. You need to get a life. I added that last part myself. lol, lol

Whatever… she could be right but I get enjoyment from writing my blog so … as Shakespeare said “all the world’s a stage and each must play his part” and part of my part is telling my stories.

I think we do play a role…that is until you decide you’ve learned every single thing you can possibility learn from the experience and choose another role or stop acting all together.

Most the time I think we simply choose another role solely because we don’t know how to leave the stage… exit stage left.

Well, I here to tell you it’s the easiest thing you’ll ever do… once you get out of your own way… and believe it’s possible to do it…  It’s that simple.

It's like Peter Pan said… all you need is to believe… and of course alittle fairy dust.

The Silk Worms Dilemma”

To be continued…
Thanks for listening,
Love Sus

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